Getting cozy with cannabis
We are in it now, people. These are the very depths of winter. Although the sun might tantalizingly linger in the sky after 5:30pm, don’t be fooled; we’ve got a cold March and wet April ahead of us before things get any better. The problem is, after several months of being cooped up, some of our less-wise friends have started to get antsy for activities and adventures outside the home. This is an error in judgement, as the only acceptable activity for a gloomy winter Saturday is to get lightly baked and explore the vast terrain of your own apartment. Still, “Let’s stay in, um, again,” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as, “I’m trying out a Scandinavian method of intentionally cozy living.” And so, we have “hygge”.
Hygge is a Danish concept describing an experience that is cozy, charming, or special. It is about being fulfilled in the moment, with a special emphasis on the hearth and home, and it’s your absolute ticket to spending a nice night in, feeling no FOMO. Below are some of the cornerstone aspects of hygge, on which you can build your argument for smoking a nice bowl and never again venturing beyond your door. To wit:
Well, this is just perfect. Taking time to savor delicious food is an integral part of hygge. Those salty treats you’ve been stockpiling for a chill night in just got a whole lot more Scandinavian. Go ahead, tip those sour cream and onion ruffles into a mason jar marked “self-care.” If you want to go full Dane about it, you can get some smoked fish on rye bread instead. As a pro tip, you can heat up basically any wine or cider and just call it “glogg”; no none will argue with you.
Another key principle of hygge is draping yourself in supple fabrics. Whether you’re swaddling yourself in a soft shawl Oprah-style, getting under a blanket in some oversized knit socks, or spending way too long brushing your cat, all of these can be part of the hygge lifestyle. When your friend suggests lacing up (!) boots (!!), point out that rubber is extremely not hygge. Have they even felt the soft part of the cat’s nose right before the actual nose itself? Get down here. Get hygge.
Ideally, you should be sitting around an outdoor fire pit under the stars, revelling at the smallness of humankind’s place in the universe. While it might seem like this is a perfect way for your friend to get you outside, where exactly does this genius plan to find a functioning fire pit downtown? And after all, you didn’t spend $65 on a candle that smells like cedar not to pretend it’s a forest in your living room. Plus, that scented candle will dissipate some of the weed smell, so it’s a win-win. Lighting is a big part of hygge, so feel free to plug in some of those old Christmas lights, too.
A Fancy Thing to Smoke Weed Out Of
Taking pleasure in the functionality and design of your possessions is also part of the hygge lifestyle, which is one way of saying, “That ceramic one-hitter was a vital purchase that is deeply connected to my overall philosophy of living, thank you.” Marvel in the utility and take pride in the beauty of your various oils and accoutrements. They’re all there to help you hygge.
This is how you really reel your friend in. Crafts, babe! Who doesn’t love crafts? There is, I am sorry to tell your friend with dreams of “going to a club” or “seeing a show” or “being outside,” there's nothing better on this earth than getting #alittlestoned and making a vision board. What could be cozier than a nice collage you invest with too many of your hopes and dreams, and a few too many pictures of horses, because, well, you were a little stoned?
Feeling one with nature is a part of hygge, but so is the happy nurturing your plant life. Like any self-respecting woman in 2018, I’m assuming you’ve got some sad old pothos clinging to dear life in a copper pot in your bedroom or something. Instead of going for a walk among ancient Danish firs, why not do that thing where you put all your plants in the bathtub and then Instagram it? Very similar activities, if you think about it. Both very hygge. If you can’t be bothered to lug your dusty spider plants out of the whimsical terracotta planter your aunt gave you, remember: cannabis is a plant. Enjoy it.
If your friend doesn’t seem to be buying it, just ask them to pronounce “hygge” out loud. While they’re struggling, simply tuck yourself in for a little weed nap and dream of the summer to come.
Story by Monica Heisey
Van der Pop does not endorse or condone the illegal consumption of cannabis.